Friday, 25 June 2010

Off Topic - A Personal Thank You

This is not a post about WoW. It's got nothing to do with Death Knights. It's a personal thank you and a bit of a splurge about the shit I've been dealing with in the past few months. If you want the TL:DR version, it's at the bottom. If you don't want to know why I've been all emo on twitter and facebook, I wouldn't bother reading.

Go get a cup of tea and a biscuit. You're going to need it.

OK, take a deep breath and here we go.

Back at Easter, my fabulous, wonderful 93 year old Granny had a heart attack. Two weeks later, I ended my marriage of 3 years, we'd been together for 6 years in total. Then at the beginning of this month, I packed up the marital home, put my life in storage and moved back in with my Mum. Two weeks ago my lovely Granny had another heart attack and then last week she had a big stroke. Sometime in the middle of all of this I joined match.com in the hope of meeting some un-complicated chaps to go to the movies with. Yesterday I discovered that the only one I'd bothered with had blocked me. Oh, and I'm trying to buy my sister's house and move in within the next 6 weeks as I've planned a big party for the end of August.

For some people this would just seem like a stressful time in their lives. For me, it's pushed me to breaking point on several occasions, and I'm not out of the woods yet. As my beliefs around marriage and the most paramount relationship in my life have come tumbling down, the woman who has inspired more love, more care and more warmth than anyone I've ever known is reaching the end of her life. My Granny is the most incredible woman. In all her years I have never heard a cross word from her, her love for her sons and her grandchildren and all 15 of her great grandchildren (including various step-brothers and sisters) is unparalleled. Her heart is so big that the love she has given out is now coming back to her in floods of light, comfort and tenderness. I can only hope that when I reach that point in my life I have half of what she has. I love you Granny.

The end of my marriage is extremely personal. It's a long process to the road back to love and every day something pops up that makes me think "Did I make the right decision? Is this pain, this anger worth it?". I have to remember just how miserable I was, how broken the marriage had become and how much more both of us deserve.

Through out all of this, there have been several things that have kept me sane.

  1. My family and friends.
  2. WoW
  3. The WoW Community, some of whom now fit into number 1.

Warcraft has been a great distraction. Raiding is one of the few times I totally forget about everything else. The WoW community, via twitter and in game, have been tremendously supportive. A special shout out and thanks to Shammie, Shatterbound and EntropiaWoW. As a whole, I've never met a more supportive group of people than the WoW community. From coast to coast and continent to continent, you guys pwn.

My guild
Aww shucks, you bunch of gay noobs are great. I love you all!
My raid team, the Deadbeat Desperados
What can I say? GIEF ME NIPPLE! Thanks for letting this noob OT do her thing 3 times a week. Love you a lot!
The WoW crowd on Wave
My special Warcraft friends. Thank you for listening to my various rants and emo moments. xxx

Trusty Crutch
You know who you are. You'd better be reading this! I'd say something sappy about "love you!" but that'll just scare us both. Thank you for being my rock, for making me laugh every single day, for listening to my crazy talk and for believing in me, even when I don't.


My two amazing sisters and my fabulous Mummmmmy
Words can never say how much I love you or how grateful I am to have you so close to me at the moment.

My bonkers and loving Daddy
Spending time with you and Granny is incredibly special for me. I love you Pops.

My Bestest Girls and Brothers from another Mother

Your strength, humour and drunkenness are a real tonic, even when you are having shite times, you're there for me. I love you all.

My extended family and friends from all over the world

Your messages of support carry me through and I'm grateful for each and every one of you.


TL:DR - THANK YOU.



5 comments:

  1. For what it's worth, I know what you're going through and I know it sucks. But you're doing a great job holding on in there :) *hugs*

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  2. Thank you honey :) It's just those little comments that make all the difference x

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  3. Oh, Deme... :( Really, really sorry to read about this (didn't know until just now, found my way here throuh a post you made on the JD website). I've lived through a similar situation myself - my beloved Granny who I considered my _friend_ passed away in cancer whilst I was splitting up with my ex (the break-up was bad, really baaaaad). I thought I'd never recover but you know what? There truly is a silver lining to every dark cloud; I met Mr More and ended up happier than I've ever been before!!! :) So hang in there, life doesn't throw shite our way we can't handle. I wish you all the best and cya around Azeroth. Love and hugs!

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  4. Hugs @ Deme in a short and predictable Verde Stylee.

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  5. @Moreanna - You just made me love you more, Mrs More XD

    @Verde predictable?? *cough* SPON PANTS OF DOOM. You didn't get that nickname for nothing you know.

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Keep it clean or face my army.