Thursday, 7 January 2010

Four noobs. One world. The World of Warcraft.

In early 2009 four people were drawn to a world. A world like no other. The World of Warcraft. Four plate wearing noobs, 1 Pally, 3 Warriors. 1 short arse dwarf, 3 ‘creative choice’ humans. 1 girl and 3 boys. This is the story of how they met.

Gnolls in Redridge.

They had ventured far and wide into this new world, criss-crossing each others paths but some how always missing each other. Until one fateful day, when they found themselves in the forge, or in the inn or on the bridge at Lakeshire and in need of help. Some how those gnolls, that had been running wild on the River’s Edge in Elwynn and were trying to take over Westfall, were now up to their evil shenanigans in the Redridge Mountains.

Having been duped into thinking that Hogger was a normal adversary at an earlier age, these brave knights were more wary of this new foe. To go into battle alone would be certain death. ‘But how to find others willing and able to venture into battle?’ pondered one of the warriors as she walked towards the bridge.

“CAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH GNOLLS?” bellowed the Fearless Warrior.

Nothing. No reply. But there was a strange ginger chap in the forge, would he help? Maybe one more shout before I try asking him though the warrior.

“Can anyone help me with gnolls?’ A little more polite this time.

“Sure, I will”. It was non-other than the ginger haired chap from the forge. ‘Just let me finish smelting this copper’.

‘Great thanks!’ said the Fearless Warrior, thinking ‘Smelting copper?? What the hell is he talking about? This bloke is clearly bonkers.’

‘Maybe we should get some more people’ said the Ginger Chap. ‘I can tank but we might need some more’.

‘Ok, how about that guy over there?’ Fearless Warrior pointed to the other side of the bridge where a guy was doing funny things to some green, finned fish things with a big hammer. The Ginger Chap agreed and off they went to ask Hammer Guy. Hammer Guy also had to go and investigate the gnolls and was frankly glad of the break from hitting the vicious, green, finned fish things.

A quick stop at the inn for supplies and the band of three headed up the hill away from the town.

“Wait! Wait for me!” The Fearless Warrior, Ginger Chap and Hammer Guy turned to see a funny little squat man running up the hill behind them. “I too am on the great quest for gnolls, can I join you?” He was rather muscular and looked very strong for such a small man. Something about him told the group that he would bring a certain x-factor to their expedition. So the group of three now became four. Fearless Warrior, Ginger Chap, Hammer Guy and Shortstuff.

They’d not been walking long when suddenly a bolt of lightning hit the back of Fearless Warrior.
“YEEEOOWWW!!” she squealed as the knights all pivoted to see where it had come from. 3 tall, fat, ugly ogres were advancing up the hill behind them with a mean look in their eyes.

“Stand back fair maiden!” ordered Shortstuff, “I will protect you!”

“You won’t! I will!” snapped Ginger Chap.

Fearless Warrior calmly strode in front of the arguing knights and swung her sword at the first Ogre.

“Stop arguing and come help!” She yelled over her shoulder. Which was a mistake, she turned back to see the Ogre’s shield coming hard at her head.

Hammer guy watched as Fearless Warrior got slammed to the ground with his heart in his mouth. Green, finned, fishy things flashed through his mind and he could vaguely hear the dwarf and warrior arguing with each other.

“RAWR!” He let out an almighty cry and ran towards Fearless Warrior swinging his big hammer over his head and eye-balling the ogre who had shield-smashed her.

The noise shook Shortstuff and Ginger Chap out of their argument and they finally realised what was going on.

The hammer struck the ogre’s shield and it shattered into small pieces around Hammer Guy. The ogre was not happy but Hammer Guy was in the zone now and he just kept swinging. Another swipe and the ogre took a smashing blow to the head, Hammer Guy heard the bone crack under his might and he knew the ogre was losing. One more powerful swing and his foe sunk to the ground like an over-bloated blue balloon.

Ginger Chap had moved in to the second ogre, the one who had cast the lightning bolt at Fearless Warrior. The ogre was doing something with his hands and Ginger Chap could see something black and fizzing forming in the space between them. Before the ogre could cause any more damage Ginger Chap charged and sliced up with his sword. In one stroke he took off the ogre’s left arm. The ogre had a look of disbelief and horror on his face as he watched the blood pump out of his arm. He decided not to stick around a made to make his escape.

Shortstuff appeared from nowhere and vaulted onto the back of the fleeing ogre. In one clean motion he lifted the ogre’s head and slit open it’s throat. The ogre crumpled and Shortstuff bounced off him and ran back to the group.

Ginger Chap looked round to see that Shortstuff had already killed the third ogre whilst he had been in the midst of battle. Looking back to Shortstuff he must have looked incredulous because Shortstuff said,

“Never seen a dwarf fight before laddie?!”

“I’ve never seen anyone fight like that before!” marvelled Ginger Chap.

“Stick with me, I’ll see ya right.” Shortstuff grinned as he walked past Ginger Chap to where Hammer Guy and Fearless Warrior were.

Hammer Guy began murmuring some words under his breath as he looked down at Fearless Warrior.

“What’s he doing?” Ginger Chap mumbled.

“Ssshh lad, he needs to concentrate” replied Shortstuff.

Seconds later a soft glow began to come from Hammer Guy’s hands as he moved them along and above Fearless Warrior’s body.

“Urrghhh, what happened?” Fearless Warrior came round and asked.

“You got shield slammed lassie” replied Shortstuff.

“Oh. Then what woke me up?” Fearless Warrior felt surprisingly well for being shield slammed and whacked with a lightning bolt.

“I did” said Hammer Guy.

“But how?” asked Ginger Chap, “You’re a warrior just like us and we can’t do that”

“No, I am a paladin. I can heal you.”

After the exertion of the fight, this last revelation was big news. The four had a bite to eat to recover their energy and discussed how they had all come to be in Lakeshire and on this great quest. It was getting late so they decided to move off the road slightly and make camp for the night. Who knew what adventures lay ahead for them.

This is just a little tribute to my three noob friends on our WoW Anniversary. One husband and two brothers. Love ya guys.

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