Today's post is a two-for-one deal!
The Needy
Sparked by several incidents over on twitter, this great article on 'nice guys' and my own experiences, I want to say something about the 'needy' types out there on the innernetz. I'm not talking about your old and infirm, those living on the breadline or those in need of genuine help. I'm talking about the attention seeking, pity-party, woe-is-me unbalanced saps who can thrive on the internet and frankly, make other peoples lives a living misery. This is not a guy-only problem. I can put my hand up and say I've been a needy girl too. Big apologies to Jim and Lewis where ever you are now, I apologise for the late night texting, the abuse of my position as your superior at work and any other awful needy behaviour I exhibited. I'm not proud of it. At all. The good thing is though that I moved on. I learnt. I grew the fuck up.
If you think you fall into the category of a 'Nice Guy' or Girl, go read that article I linked above. What you don't realise by being the first and last person your 'special' friend talks to every day, through YOUR persistence, not their's, is that you are not bringing them closer to you. You are driving them away. You are freaking them out. You are making their life uncomfortable. You are probably ruining some of their favourite past times and ways of relaxation with your constant bombardment and need to chat/text/have contact. Have they begun avoiding you? Not responding to your self-pitying nonsense? Take the hint. Go have a long hard look at yourself and ask if this is how you would like to be treated. Would you be likely to date someone who behaved like this towards you? Would you even want to be their friend? I seriously doubt it.
The Greedy
Yesterday the Man and I ran a couple of dungeons. I hate running dungeons when I've just got to level cap and don't know them. I hate it because I don't want to be the 'bad DK'. I'm so terrified of being 'that DK' that I'll only run dungeons with guildies and even pulling in two PuGs gives me The Fear. We ran Lost City twice yesterday, quite enjoyed it on the second run when I was actually able to look around a bit and wasn't thinking 'oh fuck 11fps and I can't see the bad not to stand in'.
I should say here, that The Man and I are the tanks in our raid team. We're gearing up at a similar rate to get into HCs and then raiding. We're also always talking to each other over Mumble or Skype when we are in game. So yesterday when a guildie* running with us whispered me to say I shouldn't have needed on tank gear whilst running as DPS, I got a bit upset. Said guildie is also in the raid team and is another plate wearer. The other two members of the group were druids. The Man is currently geared better than me. I needed on it. I won it.
I would never dare to need without asking on tank gear when I'm running as DPS in a random where I don't know the other members. It's just not my style. I think it's called 'being a ninja'.
What self imposed, or otherwise rules do you have for running dungeons? Are you a giant fraidy cat like me who only runs with guildies? Or are you a big brave lion who jumps right into the random queue with gusto?
*The guildie is cool, it's just my own paranoia playing out :P
I would've definitely needed on the tank gear (and I do need on healer gear when I'm DPSing for a guild group). The guildie knows you're a main spec tank, so I don't see what his/her problem is. When I'm running heroics with the guild, I/we apply raid rules - everyone has a main spec and they roll for that, regardless what role they've been asked to perform in this particular instance.
ReplyDeleteAs for pugging... I'm proud of myself. I read a lot of articles before Cataclysm so I had time to get used to the idea that I can't save everyone. I pugged my heart out, I wiped a lot, I healed bad, I healed good but DPS stood in the fire, but I never berated myself for being 'fail', I just learnt from my mistakes.
That being said, I would never pug as a tank. I'm a bad tank and I hate the attention and the responsibility, so I always try to run with guildies, preferably at least one guildie who's a main spec tank :D
I think its insane that a member of your guild, AND raid team, would criticize you for that. You are supposed to want your tanks to gear up. If I were running as dps for whatever reason (even though I am main spec raid tank) my guildies would be yelling at me if I didn't roll need in that situation.
ReplyDeleteI was in a guild group where the other tank in my raid was in. He switched to dps since I don't currently have a dps offspec. We both rolled need on tanking gear because we both can use it for our main spec. He won a trinket and it didn't bother me in the least.
If I was running as dps in a group that was 100% pug, I probably wouldn't roll need however.
Every situation is different and you have to use your best judgement as to what is appropriate in each situation.
I generally don't need on OS gear without asking in a pug, since the general etiquette is MS before OS, but within guild runs everybody usaully knows what everyone else has so it's fine. And because you're committed to a longer term future with guilds it makes sense to gear everyone up at a similar rate, by spreading the loot love around.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments folks :)
ReplyDeleteNo need to panic, as I mentioned, the guildie is way cool so it's just one of those things :D I took it a little to heart without need. Oh crap. The 'N' word again ;P